When you think of a wedding, you might picture a ceremony in a traditional religious venue like a church, or perhaps on a picturesque beach or in a rustic barn. Maybe the last location to come to mind? A graveyard.

Yet, cemetery weddings are more common than most people realize – and they’re getting more popular. While the idea may seem a bit morbid on its face, there is a deeper level to tying the knot in a burial zone. Getting married in a cemetery is another unique way to celebrate love, yes, but it can also be a way to honor the dead, add solemnity to the occasion, or even save on wedding costs. 

The Origins of Cemetery Weddings

Unlike many modern wedding trends, the origins of cemetery weddings are difficult to trace. Graveyards have existed for as long as human settlements, which suggests that people have been using these spaces for important occasions for thousands of years. 

So, why get married there? One reason is a desire to connect with both living family members and ancestors who have passed on, making a cemetery an ideal setting to honor one’s heritage during such a significant moment in one’s life. 

Interestingly, there was also a more practical reason for cemetery weddings in the past. Historical records indicate that during the Black Plague, Jewish customs sometimes included conducting weddings in cemeteries as a way to ward off death. The belief was that by surrounding oneself with death, it was possible to appeal to God in a humble manner, seeking a form of protection for the newlywed couple. 

Why Cemetery Weddings Are Growing in Popularity

After decades (or even centuries) of weddings generally looking very similar, in more recent years, couples have been eager to realize their own unique vision for their big day by doing something different. Holding a wedding in a cemetery is part an outgrowth of that desire to break the mold. 

Cemeteries are traditionally thought of as macabre places, but they are often quite beautiful, too. Not only are some of the finest landscaping and gardens can be found in cemeteries, but they are also home to the final resting place of past generations. For example, couples may hold a fascination with the afterlife that could add a layer of meaning to a cemetery wedding. For those who believe in the power of spirits, it can be comforting to know that one’s wedding attendees are not limited to the guest list. 

Handling Judgment From Others

However, planning a cemetery wedding can come with a big challenge: stigma. Inviting guests to attend a wedding in such close proximity to a burial site can sometimes invoke negative feelings from friends and family – something couples should prepare for and have a plan for how to handle comments, concerns, or even complaints. 

The internet is full of stories of couples who have their hearts set on cemetery weddings… but are struggling to explain their vision to wedding guests. One Reddit user posted their story to ask for advice:

“[Future husband] and I are getting married in a newly restored chapel in the local cemetery. We will be the first wedding there in its history. It was built in the 1880s and it is tiny, simple, peaceful, and quaint. The atmosphere itself requires little to no decor added. Good to know that [future husband] and I are paying for everything ourselves and this venue is free because it seems we are making local history.

The problem is, folks think we are morbid. Wedding date is Friday, 13 March of this year. We chose that date only because we found ridiculously inexpensive flights for our honeymoon for the very next day (Paris, if anyone wants to know).

I've gotten nothing but negative comments from family, friends, coworkers, and acquaintances. I've decided to roll with it and say, ‘I'll have all the corpses in town because they're decidedly nicer than most of the live ones around here.’ I've taken walks there throughout my life and being there has always made me feel calm. A place that is usually filled with grief deserves a bit of joy.

But my question is, has anyone else flown in the face of tradition and done what they want in an unconventional place that makes them feel good despite the constant snark from others?”

Responses to the post included stories from other couples who’ve had similar experiences. 

“I had a cemetery wedding too. Yes my co-workers were totally freaked out by it. But once people saw the pictures I think they 'got' it, and actually thought it was really beautiful - i.e. more like a historical garden than a cemetery,” wrote one commenter. 

“Eh if they object they can rsvp no - I think it’s original!!!” another added. 

Dealing With Dissent

You might encounter some resistance when you share your plans about the big day. Some people in your life might view a cemetery wedding as disrespectful or believe it invites bad luck. 

Superstitions and beliefs vary widely across cultures and individuals, so it’s important to explain your decision to your guests in a straightforward and honest way. Be prepared for the possibility that some loved ones might choose not to attend because they feel uncomfortable with the setting. 

How to Host a Cemetery Wedding

As with any wedding venue, planning a cemetery wedding involves following specific steps. First, you’ll need to find a suitable cemetery venue and ensure it is open to holding events. 

It would be advisable to coordinate to schedule your wedding at a time when there are no planned burials or funerals. Although it’s your special day, the needs of those using the cemetery for mourning and remembrance may take precedence.

Once you’ve secured a venue, another critical aspect will be deciding on an officiant. On that score, online ordination has been a popular tool among couples planning a non-traditional wedding like a cemetery ceremony. With just a few clicks, a friend or family member can get ordained online and become authorized to perform a legal wedding ceremony. 

Respecting Hallowed Ground

Above all, it’s essential to remember that cemeteries are sacred spaces, serving as the final resting place for those who have passed away. Treat the space with the respect and reverence it deserves, and stay away from behaviors that might be considered disrespectful in such a solemn environment.

While the idea of a cemetery wedding may seem unconventional, it’s not as unusual as it might initially appear. If this setting resonates with you, take the time to plan an event that is both respectful and meaningful, ensuring that your special day reflects your unique love story.