by: Kate Hawkes

In my first ULC guest blog, I am jumping right into the heart of my current work. This has been a year of emergence into transformation. After a limbo period, I have now shed potential partners like snakes shed skin, only perhaps more regularly, and returned to the foundation of my formative years with horses, stepping fully into what can be seen as the pinnacle of any theater professionals' dreams: producing and acting in a one-woman show.

What does each of these examples demonstrate to me? That it is time to BE Kate out in the world, alone and complete; that there are certain forms of nurturing that are always available; that which seems like hubris and impossible is often the urging of Spirit, the expression of a Personal Magic.

In short, I am living the book I am writing and at each step, when I start to get a little heady and esoteric, life is there right in front of me, daring me to Really Walk the Talk.

What is the talk? The talk is that each of us has a Personal Magic, a visible expression in the world, of who we are and what we have to offer. Personal Magic can be thought of as Spirit's Path, Heart's Desire, 'what we are here to do', Soul work, God's calling and more. What matters is that you step into it with eyes and heart open, body and soul working in harmony.

It doesn't always come easily or quickly. It may take years to recognize, let alone be ready to do it. It may be a circuitous journey or a direct path. It may require that you work alone, or with others, along paths not always of your choosing. You may be very visible in the public world or you may work your Personal Magic in a cave, a horse-yard, a house in the suburbs.

Stepping into your Personal Magic is only measurable in any meaningful way by your felt experience, and thus is only really recognizable by you, the person whose it is. Others may look at what you do and say 'You are needed.' 'You do good work.' 'You are a valuable citizen.' But if you feel hollow and sad, empty and alone, then it is not your magic. People may say, 'You are wasting your time.' 'What good is that?' 'Why aren't you making more money?' However if you are full of joy, connected to the people whom you choose to meet, and aware of your soul/spirit soaring with each breath, then you've found your magic.

It is hard to let go of the 'shoulds' and 'shouldn'ts' in your life, your personal fears and definitions of success, those 'coin of the realm' measurements of worth. But when the space you are in begins to hurt too much, when the sadness that is inexplicable, the itchiness in your heart and mind overcomes the fear of change and the unknown, that is when you move.

Moving:

First you move into a time and space of 'not knowing' while on your way into that new place, a new way of being in the world. Like losing weight or taking up exercise, or learning to play an instrument, there are moments when it seems impossible, silly and even just plain ugly. But then, your taste-buds stop craving what you don't really want anyway. The shorts look as good on as off, and the violin sighs like the song says it can. That is what arriving in your Personal Magic is all about.

So, I am connecting back into the world again. The universe, after shutting off avenues to me so that I had to wait, then selectively opening doors I had not asked for, seems to be in sync with me again. Or, perhaps I am finally in sync with the universe? My Personal Magic is finding the light. And just in time, because there is a book to publish!

Now for you; how to cultivate your Personal Magic?

I recommend an artistic endeavor! Have you ever watched a small child engrossed in her painting? Have you ever suddenly written a poem or found yourself humming a melody you have never heard before? When you are in those states, unconscious of the physical world around you, letting intuition and the power of the moment guide you, not planning an outcome, nor criticizing the creation as it unfolds, you are functioning in Spirit. You are in Awareness and of that moment, not in the past or the future but Now.

'The spirit of creativity', 'the creative spirit', 'a free spirit'. It is no accident that these phrases abound. When you are in that creative inner world, you are indeed at your most free because that is where we make contact with the Spirit that moves through us. It is where you are free of the rules: those expectations, inhibitions, and anxieties of being 'right' and 'successful'. It is where you will truly create and clearly gain awareness of something you did not know.

The AHA!

The magic happens when we relax into the moment of discovery, putting aside rational rules and expectations. This makes room for that unknown way of KNOWING (or Awareness) to move into the void. The Void is that space between the vast inadequacy of what we consciously know, and the effort it takes to force an outcome.

There is so much more than what we know beneath the layer of everyday consciousness through which we usually operate in the world. The creative spirit frees us to access the deeper, richer knowledge beyond mere rational learned thought. In short, we are not thinking; we just are.

Mindfulness, meditation, in the flow; it is not so much about changing what is, as it is about adjusting how we perceive it, understand it, experience it. It is a transmutation of experience from one level to another. It is magic. Choosing to enter into this other awareness is not a prayer for an answer to some problem, but more like opening a door and seeing what is there without judgment or even expectation.

The creative endeavor of making art or simply listening and paying attention to another person's expression of art so that you are drawn into that sphere of consciousness takes you beyond the rational mind. It takes you into your Spirit, and the visions, ideas, sudden 'ahas!' which emerge are not from your mind, but your Spirit. It is also from there where you can create art. The very same way you entered is also the way to give expression to that experience.

Yes, it is circular. You put yourself into a creative state to create. You put yourself into a state that opens your Spirit to encounter Spirit. You have to use magic to find magic. The physical expression of that encounter in the visible world is your Personal Magic made manifest.

So play with creativity and see what happens. It is the process not the outcome that is really key here. You can do it! Let go, dive in and open up.