When it comes to weddings, there’s nothing quite like the sincerity and depth of feeling when a couple writes the vows themselves. Whether the ceremony is more traditional, nontraditional, or nonreligious, the couple may opt to draft their commitment to each other in their own words. As an officiant, you’re responsible for coming up with the wedding script, ensuring that legal elements are included such as the declaration of intent and the pronouncement. Here are some things to think about when helping your couples develop a wedding ceremony script that nicely complements the vows they plan to share with one another.

Why Might a Couple Write Their Own Vows?

There are numerous benefits for couples writing their own wedding vows.

• Personal touch: Speaking from the heart is perhaps the best way for a couple to personalize their nuptials, touching on their unique history and their hopes for life ahead.
• Add meaning to the event: Writing personalized vows helps to make the wedding preparation – and the ceremony itself – a more emotional and sincere experience, both for the couple and their guests (should they opt to share vows publicly).
• Creativity and flexibility: The act of writing vows helps a couple get creative and expand their imagination for what’s possible for their special day. Even a standard ceremony script can flourish with two creative minds putting their feelings into words.

What Are Some Tips for Helping a Couple With Their Vows?

Whether they are poet laureates or haven’t written in ages, the officiant should be a resource to help the couple pen vows that will make their wedding unique and special, capturing the details of their love story. Here are some pointers that can help get the ball rolling:

• Reflect and relate: Give the couple ample opportunities to talk about their relationship, reflecting on milestones and the most essential elements. Encourage them to incorporate these details in their vows.
• Imagine and ideate: Encourage them to brainstorm ideas, focusing on the things they want their partner to know and hear.
• Perfect and polish: Urge them to review the drafted vows with three key things in mind: clarity, length, and tone. If one person writes a novel and the other a single paragraph, things can get a little awkward.

But the vows are only one part of the ceremony. Below, you’ll find a sample ceremony to use as a guide for developing a wedding script that features the couple’s own vows.